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So first, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a mom who’s a lil’ bit neurodiverse! While I won’t apologize for it, I am honest enough to admit that as much as I love my kids, my annoying brain makes it soooo hard to be a good mom! I like, genuinely suck at it! I kind of suck at everything, if I’m being totally honest…lol!
To be fair, I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 30, which gave me a lotta time to make life ruining decisions and build up quite the surplus of shame, guilt and anxiety to boot. And I’m willing to bet you can at least wrap your head around how that feels. You wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t. You’re a magnet for chaos too!
My choices and the circumstances I’ve found myself in, just like yours, have taken me on all kinds of paths; some that have left deep scars that may never fully heal, and some that developed a kind of strength in me born only by surviving your worst nightmares. Some have completely changed my perspective on what it means to be a parent, and, let’s face it, a human being. Also, some are low-key super cringy. Like really, really just….humiliating!
I’ll admit, I can be a little dramatic, but don’t we all have some scars and some embarrassing memories that keep us awake at night? Haven’t we all faced the consequences of being forgetful, disorganized and a wee bit impulsive?Of course we have! Which is why I started Mother Lovin’ Chaos. Cuz, not to point fingers or anything, but I know damn well I’m not the only mom who sucks at parenting – neurodiverse or not!
Yup, lookin’ at you kid!
Jeez, forget parenting, half of us (especially me) can’t even adult right! Even the best and the brightest, most neurotypical minds can’t manage the crazy amount of expectations we put on ourselves! There’s a reason us Millennials are basically just a meme!
But look, I’m not here to whine and make excuses, I don’t like pity parties, or really, parties in general, and I’m not here to blow sunshine up anyone’s ass and pretend like sucking at life is ok, cuz it’s not.
I’m here because I lay awake at night knowing that my unique experiences, my resourcefulness (a.k.a obsessive research tendencies), and my passion for helping moms who are just not killin it, is the reason I’m on this planet.
I’m here for you!
And you’re here for a reason…
Whether you realize it or not, you’re here because you’re ready to transform from a magnet for chaos to a magnetic goddess. I’ve learned that starting that process involves changing your mindset…yes I know you hear this every-fuckin-where, but that’s only because it’s like, totally true. 😏
And since I lay awake at night dreaming up inspirational messages like a total nerd, I’ve narrowed down 4 key mindset changes every millennial mom needs to know.
1. LIGHTEN UP, AND LAUGH A LITTLE
Girl, you’ve got to lighten up! Ya gotta just laugh sometimes. Laugh at yourself, laugh at your kids, laugh at me. Life sucks. It throws the most bizarre stuff our way, and if we only get angry, frustrated, or worse, CRY OVER EVERYTHING (like me), it’s just gonna suck more. Finding humor in the chaos is like kicking depression in the balls. Not just a great tweet….
Finding humor in the chaos is like kicking depression in the balls.Tweet
I’m gonna help you out here; Nothing makes you feel better when you’ve screwed up big time than to see another mom find comedic relief in the midst of her tragedy. Especially when that tragedy is similar to yours, or even better, worse.
It’s fucked up to say that but I’m not wrong!
Which is why I prioritize laughing – about everything, all the time. It’s not because I’m smoking weed (at least not always). It’s because I’ve learned to deliberately look for the humor in the chaos, cuz that’s how I’ve been able to shift thinking from fear to amusement. And from amusement stems acceptance, empathy, and respect for yourself – flaws and burdens of genius included. 😉YogaDownload.com Membership Options (as little as $10/month)
2. SEEK A CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE
It is crucial to see things from a different perspective. I had to learn the hard way that I am not the center of the universe. I’ve had the rare gift of walking a copious number of different paths in life, and have done so in all sorts of different people’s shoes. A lot of it sucked, not gonna lie, and I spent a lot of years hating my impulsive decision making and tunnel vision that led me down some not so easy paths. But it’s also the reason I’m now able to see the GOOD in every situation and in every person! There is a much bigger world out there than the microscopic dot that each of us was born into! Perspective lets you see more of IT, and less of ourselves.
If you haven’t had the opportunity to walk in too many other shoes other than your own, that’s ok.
I got you boo.
That’s what I do here. This isn’t just a diary of my crappy experiences. It’s inspiration, encouragement and guidance if you want! It’s also a compilation of a gazillion other women with a gazillion different stories, who just want to be heard, their frustration acknowledged. That’s the goal anyway!
Connection and sharing our unique experiences is definitely crucial to changing perspective, but what if that’s backfired on you before? I know it has for me! Having a place of safety where you can grow – without fear of being judged, misunderstood, and deemed worthless by those who aren’t able to see beyond themselves – is necessary to access the open-mindedness and vulnerability required to make those connections thrive!
Shame is not, and can not be, part of the equation!
Whether you are a casual reader or an entrepreneurial spirit hungry to learn, grow, and make your mark on the world, Mother Lovin’ Chaos WILL change your perspective. My intention is to build a diverse community of women who have the power to break down walls of ignorance, insecurity, division. Our awesome womanly powers, like connection, empathy, and our determination to constantly improve ourselves and our loved ones; these are how we gain perspective. Read, reflect, share, answer, connect, repeat.
Which leads to the next point…
3. LEARN FROM OTHERS EXPERIENCES
This sounds a lot like changing perspective, but trust me, you can see the world through someone else’s eyes and still choose to bury your head in the sand! As human beings, we’ve mastered the tactic of avoidance as protection from pain. As moms, some of us could have PHd’s in that shit. But ignoring the truth will not make it go away.
Trust me. 🙄
As a neurodiverse woman, I personally feel like I need to be autonomous, an independent spirit if you will. And I know I’m not alone in that feeling. Whether we’re neurotypical or ADHD as fuck, women are famous for our stubborn refusal to take advice or help from anyone. We got this. We don’t need anyone. We know what we want and we’re gonna get it. By we, we mean, NOT you. YOU stay in your corner and out of our way!
Well honey, that’s a sure-fire way to attract chaos, only chaos and nothing but chaos! Again, trust me… 🤦🏻♀️
The point is…
Whatever it is you want in life, whether it’s getting your teen to open up to you, making your fortune starting an online business, or becoming the President of the United States, there is someone, or more accurately, millions of someones, who’ve already been there, done that. They have already made the mistakes. They’ve already figured out what works. And whether or not they’ve met the exact goal you’ve set for yourself, they have a whole lot of knowledge and wisdom that can give you the edge you need to be successful!
Also – don’t play like you don’t have a few tricks up your sleeve. Given the same set of circumstances, your takeaway will be different from mine, which means you’ve figured out something that the rest of haven’t.
So bruh, share your secrets.
And learn a few new moves from the rest of us.
Sharing is for winners!
4. DON’T GO IT ALONE
Finally, as humans, and especially as women, we suck at succeeding for extended periods of time on our own. I’m not terribly religious, but I do believe we are designed or evolved to work together best with other humans. I’m here to make sure you know that you’ve got support! You’re not alone, and you CAN do this, although you WILL trip over your feet or fall into some kind of trap and fall flat on your ass. Like, a lot.
But you will make it. You will pick yourself up, laugh it off and face the chaos.
You may not make it through – nah boo. You’re gonna make it your bitch.
You magnetic goddess you!